


Something Between a Warning and a Prayer

by Cunninglinguist



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Play, Bisexual Character, Bodily Fluids, Body Worship, Canonical Character Death, Coitus Interruptus, Comfort, Drinking, Drug Addiction, Explicit Language, F/M, Face-Sitting, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Klaus is a Giver, Mentions of Reginald Hargreeves - Freeform, Mentions of the Apocalypse, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Pseudo-Incest, Smut, Squirting, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 16:28:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cunninglinguist/pseuds/Cunninglinguist
Summary: “So you mean...” Klaus frowns, gesticulating meaningfully with his hands. “You’ve never had...with a partner?”“Yeah, um. No, I haven’t.” She downs her beer. “Not that they haven’t tried, because they have, but it’s just never...Jesus, how did we end up talking about this again?”





	Something Between a Warning and a Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a fill for [this prompt](https://umbrellakink.dreamwidth.org/284.html?thread=257820) on the TUA kink meme; it was supposed to just be quick and dirty, but I managed to blather on for 5.8K, so. I hope whoever requested it enjoys. 
> 
> It's set as an alternate ending to season 1, episode 1, in which Klaus goes with Vanya instead of Diego after the disaster funeral.

“Hey, wait up!”

Vanya turns to see Klaus running down the stairs, jacket billowing behind him. He comes to an abrupt halt by her side, breathing hard and grinning. “So, where are we going?”

“You want to come with me?” 

“Yeah. I mean. I was gonna go with Diego, but he up and bounced before I could get my stuff.”

Vanya stares at him. “I was just gonna go home, but…”

Klaus hums. “Wanna go get tanked instead?”

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Vanya grabs his wrist, thumb brushing the plastic ID bracelet.

He laughs loudly and snatches his arm back. “Oh that’s nothing, I wear it for fun. Reminds me of the good ol’ days.”

“In...rehab?”

Klaus makes a noise of frustration. “It’s just booze. It’s not like we’re gonna go shoot up or anything.”

Vanya opens her mouth to argue, but Klaus puts a hand on her shoulder and stares at her with big, soft eyes. “Are you really telling me you’d turn down a drink with your dear brother who you haven’t seen in ten years? After today?” 

“It’s been thirteen years, actually, but…” Vanya lets out a loud exhale. It would be nice to have some company, and she had always gotten along with Klaus. Sure, the last time they’d really interacted meaningfully was probably before they’d turned twelve, but with family, you can just pick up where you left off, right? 

Not that rules and conventions ever really applied to their family.

A smile spreads across Klaus’ face as he watches her give in with a shrug. “Okay, fabulous. I know the best little spot across town…”

*******

“Oh my god, Dad was _so mad_!” Vanya’s laughing so hard she’s crying, and Klaus isn’t faring much better across from her. They’re only two drinks and a likely ill-advised shot deep, but he’s got her rolling with the story of the first time he snuck out of the house to go to a club. He’d made it back just stealthily enough to avoid incrimination via the numerous security cameras scattered about the Academy, but not so much to avoid suspicion. Dad had just known, like he always knew, but he’d had no way to prove it, so Klaus had skirted what would have surely been a ghastly punishment. Not that he’d ever been that smooth again, but that wasn’t really the point.

Klaus’ ability to make Vanya laugh was always one of her favorite of his traits--he always did have a propensity for making her feel better, and it was nice to be reminded of that after so many years. 

Klaus wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, smudging up his already messy eyeliner even more. “Christ, imagine how pissed he’d be if he could see me now.”

Vanya sobers a bit, frowning. She reaches across the table and rests her hand on his. “Hey. One step at a time, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Klaus gives her a sad little smile and swirls his sangria. 

Vanya doesn’t care for the shift in energy between them, so she takes a healthy swig of beer and says, “So, you, uh...dating anybody or anything? Got any new friends?”

Klaus laughs, surprised. “This might shock you, but dating’s never really been a strong suit of mine. Or a priority. Hard to pick a person over...well, it’s not like I meet the best people anyway. Although I did meet a very attractive man last week.”

“Oh?”

“He was _suuuuper_ hot, but it didn’t end up going so well. Couldn’t really, um. Well, he came in his pants before before we could really…” He growls, curls his upper lip, and makes over the top thrusting motions with his arms. Vanya chokes on her beer, covering her mouth with her hand. 

“Oh my god, Klaus.”

“You asked!” Klaus grins over the lip of his glass and stabs an errant cherry with his straw. He sucks it into his pouty mouth, and for a moment, Vanya wonders why he’s surprised that the guy came in his pants before they got to the main event. “A shame, really. I had to go home with his friend instead.”

_“Klaus!”_

“What?” Klaus leans forward, palms upturned. “I don’t want to date, Vanya. I just want to come. And, sometimes, it’s nice when someone else takes care of it for you, you know?”

Vanya’s face heats. For some reason that she will likely never know, she decides to say, “No, I don’t know.”

Klaus waves her off and snorts. 

“No, I’m serious.” Vanya’s wondering what the hell has possessed her and put her in this position, but there’s no turning back, and apparently she can’t stop talking to save her own life. “I mean, I’ve been with people, but…”

“So you mean...” Klaus frowns, gesticulating meaningfully with his hands. “You’ve never had...with a partner?”

“Yeah, um. No, I haven’t.” She downs her beer. “Not that they haven’t tried, because they have, but it’s just never...Jesus, how did we end up talking about this again?”

Klaus’ hands fly to his face and he lets out a dismayed gasp. “How can that be, Vanya?! You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re fucking gorgeous, I mean, look at you! Did any of these guys at least know where your clit was?”

“Please, keep your voice down!” Vanya shrinks into her shirt collar, incapable of processing Klaus’ barrage of compliments. No way he actually meant any of that stuff. About someone else, maybe, but her? No way. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Klaus rolls his eyes and furrows his brow. Vanya braces herself, because that is Klaus’ Thinking Face, and whenever he makes his Thinking Face, he’s usually about to say something ingenious or terribly, woefully stupid. 

Vanya fiddles with a frayed cuff of her shirt as the silence between them stretches to an untenable point. “What.” 

“I mean. I could help you with that, if you wanted.” Klaus shrugs and takes a long sip of his sangria.

Vanya snorts. “What, you know someone who’s good in bed?”

Klaus plunges two of his long fingers into the glass and pulls out a wine-soaked strawberry. He looks Vanya right in the eyes and rests the tip of it between his full lips. Vanya tenses up in her seat as she watches him suck on it for a few moments before he pushes it into his mouth and eats it. “You could certainly say that.”

“You don’t mean…”

Klaus leans forward on his elbows and grins conspiratorially, his dimples deepening obscenely. “I do. But only if you want.”

“Jesus.” Vanya goes to finish her beer, but finds only a trickle left. She flags their waitress down and orders another round. 

“It wouldn’t have to mean anything, and it would be all about you. Whatever you want.” Klaus picks all of the melting ice cubes out of his sangria glass and sets them on the bread plate. Vanya meets his eyes. The sincerity there floors her. 

For some reason, the next thing that comes out of Vanya’s mouth is, “But I didn’t even think you liked women?”

Klaus smirks, throws his head back, and empties the remaining boozy fruits into his mouth, tapping the bottom of the cup to loosen two stubborn chunks of melon. “Oh, Vanya,” he says fondly around his mouthful. 

Correctly assuming that this is the only explanation she’ll get, Vanya frowns. “But...you’re my brother.”

“So?” Klaus shrugs again. “At least you know I’ve got a vested interest in you having a good time.”

“And I guess it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing anyone in our family has ever done,” says Vanya just as their drinks arrive. Fuck! Vanya grits her teeth, hoping the waitress didn’t hear. Conversely, Klaus’ face lights up as he looks between them, but if she did hear anything untoward, she doesn’t indicate it. 

They sip their drinks silently for a moment, and Vanya has has to fight the urge to squirm in her seat at the puppyish bedroom eyes that Klaus is giving her. It’s not like she’s never noticed how attractive he is before. He’s objectively beautiful, with his chiseled bone structure and dark hair, perfect skin and pretty eyes. Plus, he's...well, he's _Klaus._ She’s never really met anyone like Klaus, ever, and she doubts she ever will. 

She shifts and nods. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” 

She nods tentatively. A dark sort of excitement flashes across his face, and a chill runs up Vanya’s spine. He grins and winks at her before taking a sip of his drink, and it’s all she can do to refrain from biting her lip at the ache that it inspires between her legs. The length of her dry spell comes crashing down upon her and she breathes out slowly, willing herself to sip her beer and wait until they’re both finished their drinks instead of crawling over the table and straddling Klaus’ lap. 

Klaus wrinkles his nose. “So, how important to you is the remainder of these drinks?”

“Not very.”

Klaus practically jumps out of his chair as he flails an arm at their passing waitress. “When you get a minute, can we please have the check, love?”

******

The walk back to Vanya’s place had been fraught with tension, despite both of their best efforts. Well, maybe it was only Vanya who felt as though she was going to explode with every excruciating step in the fifteen minutes it took to get through the front door from the bar. Klaus seemed as _Klaus_ as ever, rattling off some tale that masked unexpected darkness with humor and gesturing wildly with his hands, and Vanya wanted to listen, she really did, but the only thing she could think of was the persistent throbbing between her thighs and the intangible concept of someone else alleviating it for her.

Not just any someone else. _Klaus._

“Cute place,” says Klaus has he toes off his boots. He runs a finger over her music stand. “I love that you still play.”

Vanya shrugs. “Gotta stick with what you’re good at, or something.”

Klaus smiles and rests his hands on her shoulders. “Do you want anything? Water? More alcohol?” He narrows his eyes. “Are you too drunk to consent?”

“Jesus,” she chuckles, batting his hands away. “I mean, I’m a little tipsy, but we barely had two and a half drinks. Also, this is my house, I should be asking you if you need anything.”

He holds his hands up defensively, a crooked smile reigniting deep dimples. “Okay, okay. You’re right.” 

“So...do you need anything?”

“I do.” Klaus shamelessly rakes his eyes over her, and she can’t help but pant as she watches his pupils dilate, eclipsing the green of his irises. The collar of her shirt is suddenly noose-like around her neck. 

Klaus steps closer and rests his hands lightly on her hips, towering over her by at least a foot. It’s not like they’ve never been this close before, but she’s only just noticed how long his eyelashes are. He hunches down, just a little. “Can I kiss you?” 

She nods, eyelids fluttering as she stands on her tiptoes and he bends forward until their lips meet in the middle. It’s not weird, like Vanya feared it might be--it feels right, it feels warm, it feels safe. 

It feels like everything kissing Klaus should feel like. 

Emboldened, she wraps her hand around his neck and pulls him lower, pushing her tongue between his lips. He hums, and responds in kind. Klaus doesn’t just kiss with his whole body, jaw working, hands exploring...he kisses with his entire soul, and his passion courses through Vanya like an electrical current. She moans into his mouth, clutching at his shoulders as every ounce of blood in her body rushes between her thighs. 

They pull apart wetly, breathing heavily. Klaus’ face is flushed and his eyes are dark, and it’s a bit alarming to be the one at the epicenter of that focused, intense desire. 

As she stands there, she realizes that he’s waiting for her to make the next move. Determined not to let her crippling shyness ruin this, she pulls her sweater overhead, then slowly unbuttons her shirt. 

She hasn’t been so scantily clad in front of another person in so long, and she can’t help but cross her arms over her stomach. She glances down and almost gasps in horror--of course she’s in one of her oldest bras, a stretched out, pilling nude tee shirt bra from some discount store that’s discolored from use. Of course she couldn’t have thrown on that cute new polka dotted one she’d bought on sale last week, oh no, that would have made far too much sense--

 _”Wow.”_ Klaus bites his lip and gently pries her arms from her stomach. “Your _body,_ Vanya.”

“Really?” She lets her arms fall to the side, as a different sort of heat mixes with her embarrassment under Klaus’ scrutiny.

His mouth falls open, almost indignantly. “Yes, _really_!” He leans down to press a light kiss to her neck, and she shudders, fisting at the sleeves of his patchwork jacket. 

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, kissing up her jawline to nibble gently on her earlobe. “Your skin is so soft. So delicate.”

“Moisturizer is important,” she quips weakly, gasping as Klaus’ large hands cup her ass. 

“You’ll have to share your regimen with the class, my god.” He laughs, a bit breathily, and squeezes. “Do you want to take off your pants?”

“Yes.” Vanya disentangles herself from him, face burning as he watches her shimmy out of her jeans and underpants. For good measure, she unhooks her bra and tosses it to the side. 

Klaus is looking at her like she’s an oasis in a desert, and she resists the instinct to shrink away—she wants this, and Klaus wants to give it to her, and she won’t let anything get in the way of that. 

He shakes his head, like he’s breaking a spell, and runs his hands through messy curls before swiping an arm through the detritus covering her desk, sending a flurry of notebook paper and sheet music onto the floor. Something smashes, and Klaus grimaces. “Shit, sorry. I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh.” Vanya stares at the shattered metronome on the floor. “It’s fine, I have, like, fifteen more.”

“Oh. Well, that’s lucky.” He grins and holds a hand out. Vanya lets him pick her up and plop her ass down on the newly cleared desk. He stands between her legs, the leather of his pants buttery-sweet against her inner thighs. She’s drunk on the heat of his body, and can’t help but yank him forward by the lapels of his jacket until she feels the bulge in his pants against her dripping cunt. 

They both gasp. Klaus leans a hand on the desk to support himself and grinds against her. She bites back a groan at the sensation of leather against her clit. 

Klaus pulls back, and desire curls in Vanya's gut as she stares at the slick of her arousal shining on the leather of his pants. He cups her jaw tenderly, and the kindness in his eyes makes Vanya want to hold onto him and never let him go. “You know this is your show, yeah? Whatever you want. You say stop, I stop. You say more, I’ll give you all I got.”

Vanya nods, and he kisses her again. “You’re fucking gorgeous, sweetheart.”

He shucks of his jacket unceremoniously and kneels between her thighs. Vanya can’t fucking believe this is happening, or how perfect Klaus looks between her legs, full lips just inches away from where she craves them, a charming pink blooming high on those exquisite cheekbones. 

He looks up at her with wide green eyes. “Yeah?” 

Vanya swallows hard and nods. “Yeah.”

Klaus pushes her thighs apart with eager hands and stares at her for a moment, really _stares._ Vanya squirms and tries to close her legs, but Klaus isn’t having it. He surges forward and dips his tongue between her lips, sliding it into her slit and licking up to her clit. He sucks, hard, and Vanya lets out a cry and convulses as a jolt of electricity shoots up her spine.

Klaus pulls back slightly. “Good?”

It takes Vanya a solid moment to remember how to speak. “Yeah, really good.”

“Good.” Klaus hooks his arms under her knees and grabs onto her thighs, gently pulling her ass to the edge of the desk and burying his face between her thighs.

Vanya’s brain goes blank as she tries to process the stimulation. It’s not like she’s never been eaten out before, but Christ, never like this. Klaus’ fingers are digging into the meat of her thighs, and he’s using his whole mouth, licking and sucking and kissing her with those unbelievable lips, and she has to plant her hands behind her to hold herself up, arms trembling with effort. 

Klaus tilts his head and swirls his tongue around her painfully swollen clit, and something snaps in Vanya’s gut. Taken by surprise, she fists her hands in Klaus’ hair. “Yes! Klaus, god, do that again!”

He moans against her like she’s the most delectable dish he’s ever tasted, and complies. Vanya spreads her legs wider, her chest open and proud, letting out a steady stream of broken little noises now, urging Klaus on with a tight grip in his hair. She’s spiraling away from rational thought, her mind going static as Klaus devours her, until suddenly it’s not enough, it’s too much, it’s _so_ much, and she fears she’s melted through the hairline cracks in her sanity.

“Klaus,” she manages to gasp out, something between a warning and a prayer, and in the next moment, her toes are curling and her body shakes as she comes, hard.

Klaus tongues her through it, groaning as she gushes into his mouth. He sucks forcefully, and she convulses again and whimpers as she is overcome with a second, less powerful orgasm.

 _Holy hell._ Vanya’s breathing like a beast of burden as the thrilling aftershocks of her release roll through her body. Klaus kisses her lips and pulls his crop top up to wipe his face. 

“That was…” Vanya lets out a breathless laugh.

“Only the beginning,” says Klaus, raising a conspiratorial eyebrow. “That is, if you want to keep going.”

Vanya’s cunt throbs. “Yeah. I do.”

Klaus stands to give her a messy kiss. She sighs into his mouth, tasting herself on his tongue as he gently picks her up like she weighs nothing and lays her on the bed.

“How was that?” He asks, slotting himself between her legs.

She laughs through her nose and shakes her head. “Pretty fucking amazing.”

“Good.”

For a moment they just lie there, kissing. Vanya feels a bit ridiculous at how overwhelmed she is by Klaus’ kisses, considering what they had just done, but there’s something about the way he’s trailing his hands over her body, like he wants to commit her curves to memory that makes her vision blur. He pulls back to nuzzle at her nose. “Christ, it’s been ages since I’ve been with a woman. You’re making me miss it, so bad.”

“Well, you certainly know your way around, maybe you should try it more often.” Vanya bites her lip as he explores her neck and jaw with that talented mouth, sucking and kissing and licking until her heart feels like it might explode. 

“You should give it a try. Women.” He looks her right in the eye. “I think you’d have better luck, you know, crossing the finish line.”

“I’m not gay, Klaus. Obviously.”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Neither am I, obviously. You can have it both ways.”

Her laughter turns into a moan as he kisses down her collarbones. He lets out a reverent sigh before cupping her breasts and burying his face between them. “So sexy, sweetheart, god, your body is fucking fabulous.”

Vanya feels herself starting to drip again, and lets out what would have been an embarrassing whimper as Klaus takes her erect nipple into his mouth.

“Oh, my god,” she cries, hands flying to Klaus’ hair, anchoring him to her breast and rolling her hips, already desperate for more friction. He moans and sucks, and her clit throbs in response. She’s almost delirious when he moves to the lavish the other nipple with the same attention, and she lets out a desperate whine when long, thin fingers probe between her legs, rubbing at her wet clit as Klaus’ mouth works. 

“Klaus,” she whispers urgently, and that’s all he needs to hear. He mouths his way down her body, nuzzling and kissing her belly for a moment before he parts her legs and ducks his head. 

Vanya wouldn’t have believed that this time could be more intense than the first time, but she finds herself unable to hold back the noises of pure bliss that burst from her lips as Klaus elicits sensations that she had never even imagined could be real. She’s hot all over, sweating onto her comforter, fingers gripping the headboard as she writhes against Klaus’ face. 

“Fuck!” Vanya’s vision whites out at the feeling of Klaus’ finger breaching her as he laps eagerly at her clit. “That’s-- _oh god,_ that feels so good.”

Klaus grins against her. Stars burst behind Vanya’s eyes as he curls his finger and rubs insistently at a spot that makes her unsure if she’s about to come or piss everywhere, but she can’t be bothered to care, as long as he doesn’t stop. 

Klaus teases another finger at her entrance, and she babbles a string of filth as it slides in easily alongside his index finger, guided by her wetness and his copious saliva. He doesn’t let up, pressing the pads of his fingers _just there,_ and reality becomes little more than an abstract concept as tears she hadn’t expected stream down her face, her body seizes up, and she releases hard and long with a ragged scream. 

It takes a while, but she eventually returns to the present, aided by a pleased little noise from Klaus. He’s looking up at her with an extremely appealing but unusual blend of arousal, amusement, and surprise. His face is dripping wet, a clear fluid running down from his hairline over his cheekbones and lips, pooling in his cupid’s bow. 

“What’s…” Vanya sits up as quickly as she can, horrified. “Oh my god, did I _pee_ on you?”

“Oh no, sweetheart.” Klaus licks a wide stripe around his lips, his eyes rolling back in his head. “You squirted on me.”

“I’ve only seen that in pornos.” It’s probably a dumb thing to say, but it’s what comes to mind as she watches Klaus yank his crop top overhead (finally!) and use it to wipe her come off of his face. Heat ripples in her low belly as the shirt comes away dark and wet. 

“Yeah, me too.” Klaus lets out an incredulous chuckle and crawls up the bed to plant a chaste kiss on her lips. “You are so fucking sexy, I could eat you for-fucking-ever.”

Vanya looks away from her brother’s besotted gaze. “Nah, stop.”

He strokes a gentle thumb across her jaw and forces eye contact. “I’m not kidding. This is fucking amazing. _You’re_ fucking amazing.” 

“I’m not, though. Wasn’t that, like, the only thing Dad cared about? How not amazing I am?”

Klaus’ face twists. “You’re thinking about _Dad_ right now? Fuck that. Fuck Dad. He’s dead. He’s finally fucking dead. He can’t say or do anything to hurt us anymore. And so what if you didn't have powers? You’re kind, thoughtful, and you’ve got mad skills on the violin. You're _amazing._ ”

Vanya blushes, and Klaus continues. “Plus, you’re like...oh my god, you’re so good in bed. Your body is crazy receptive, and watching you come apart is just…” He groans and cups himself through his pants. 

Emboldened, Vanya snakes her hand between them and bats his out of the way. “You gonna let me return the favor?”

Klaus shakes his head. “This is about you, so...I was hoping to eat you out again, if you’re into that, and maybe we can revisit the matter after.” 

He flops down beside her and grins widely, using his hand to showcase his face. “Take a seat, madame.”

Vanya gapes at him. “You want me to…”

“Sit on my face, yeah.” Klaus’ expression turns serious. “But if you’re not down, we can totally do something else.”

“Oh, no. I’m down. I’m super fucking down.” Vanya musters all of her strength to fling a leg over Klaus’ shoulders, face burning as she positions her most intimate area directly over Klaus’ face. He hums appreciatively and gives her ass a little slap. Vanya enjoys the view of Klaus’ long, pale torso, but she wishes that he’d get rid of his fucking pants. Taking full advantage of her position, she reaches down and tugs his prick free. 

Klaus gasps against her lips as she strokes him, mesmerized by the sight of his fat cock pushing through her fist. He’s big, bigger than anyone she’s been with, and the urge to feel him inside of her hits her like a tidal wave.

Klaus thrusts up into her palm as he pulls her ass down, opening his mouth to lick into her, deeply and sensually. A violent shudder wracks Vanya’s body and she grinds down on him, the ache in her gut from her previous orgasms returning with a vengeance. 

Vanya’s never sat on someone’s face before, and it’s intense, _so_ fucking intense. She releases Klaus’ prick and sits tall, running her hands up her own body and through her hair as she rolls her hips. He sucks her clit into his mouth and tongues at it, and she hears herself moan like a fucking pornstar. He doubles his efforts, encouraging her to ride his tongue with sweaty hands.

“Klaus,” she sighs, delirious, squeezing her own breasts, grinding her cunt against his divine lips. “God, Klaus, it’s so good, how can it be so good?”

He moans, fingers digging into her flesh and she grits her teeth. He prods two fingers at her opening and she shakes, then he swipes them through her wetness and rubs at her asshole. 

_“Yes!”_ She pitches forward, nails digging into his sweat-slick chest as fire flares in her gut. She bends enough to take Klaus’ cock into her mouth, drooling down his shaft as groans against her. He points his tongue and fucks it into her as he presses his fingertip just into her asshole, and Vanya lets him slip from her mouth as she arches her back and comes, hard, all over Klaus’ face. 

She’s floating on an oversensitive cloud, trembling and gasping as he laps at her lips, murmuring endearing little nothings against her. She whines, resting her face against his heaving belly. “Fuck me, Klaus.”

Moving quickly, he slides out from under her and maneuvers her onto her back. His eyes are manic, lips and chin soaked in her fluids as he yanks off his pants, kicking them awkwardly to the floor before pushing her thighs wide. 

He meets her gaze, green eyes molten hot with desire. “You want my cock, Vanya?”

Vanya nods. She’s never been so slick and open her life, and, despite having had her soul wrung out through her cunt more times than she had ever thought possible in a single night, she feels like she’ll die without him. “Yeah, yeah, I want it.

“Say it.”

_“God._ Give me your cock, Klaus, please, give it to me, want you inside me.”

He leans down for a charged, sloppy kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips as he slowly presses into her. She gasps his name into his mouth, overwhelmed by the stretch of him. 

“Oooh.” His eyes slam shut as he exhales through the tiny o he’s made with his lips, their foreheads pressing together. “You’re tight as _fuck,_ baby girl.”

“It’s so big,” she whispers, awestruck as she rocks her hips against his. He stares into her eyes, lips parted, breath hot on her face, eyebrows knitting together in effort as he thrusts deep.

After a few more sinfully deep strokes, he pulls out, rolling her onto her side. “Comfortable?” 

She rests her head on a pillow. “Yeah.”

“Mmm.” He fits his long, lean body behind her, lifting a tremulous leg and sliding swiftly back inside. Vanya cries out at the change in angle; he feels even bigger here, inexplicably, and she bucks back against him. 

His grip tightens on her calf as he increases the speed of his thrusts, kissing her hairline and moaning into her ear. “God, you’re so wet for me, Vanya. You like that? Does it feel good?”

“So good, you feel so fucking good, you make it so good.” She grits her teeth; he’s sliding a hand up her thigh and rubbing at her clit as he fucks her. Her moans increase in volume and frequency as she drools onto the sheets, powerless to the onslaught of sensations as his cock hits that spot, the one that made her squirt, over and over again.

“You’re a fucking goddess, Vanya,” he pants in her ear. His lips and teeth find her neck. “Are you gonna come for me again, beautiful girl?”

Vanya lets out a shattered groan as Klaus’ fingers part, rubbing along either side of her wet clit. Tears well in her eyes as she struggles to comprehend everything that he’s doing, all that he’s making her feel, and the incessant need within her for more, more.

“Klaus, I’m...oh, fuck, I’m gonna come!” Her mouth falls open and she screams, agony and ecstasy overtaking her in equal measure as she comes. He fucks and rubs her through it, moaning and gasping as she clenches and gushes around his thick cock. 

He pulls out suddenly, and she sobs. He rolls her on her back and she watches through heavy-lidded eyes as he cages her with his body, sweaty curls plastered to his forehead, emitting sexy little “ah, ah, ah” sounds as he tugs on himself. She runs a hand over his bicep, licking her lips at the feeling of it flexing under her touch. “Come on, Klaus, come.”

He tosses his head back, eyes squeezing shut as his lips part and he splatters her stomach and breasts with thick, white come. 

They lie in bed for a few moments, breathing hard. Vanya looks over at Klaus. There’s a sheen of sweat on his pale flesh, his Adam’s apple is bobbing in his throat as he pants. He’s perfect, and pretty, and Vanya can’t help but smile. 

He turns his head and returns the grin. “So? Any good?”

She playfully slaps his arm. “Shut up.”

“Seriously.” Klaus props himself up on an elbow and stares fondly at her. “I hope you had as much fun as I did.”

“Trust me, I’m pretty sure I had more fun than you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” He licks his lips, and a glimmer of lust flares in her belly. “You were an absolute dream, my dear.”

She huffs a laugh. “Thanks. Hey, you thirsty?”

Klaus pulls an exaggerated face. _”So_ thirsty.” 

Vanya smiles and goes to get out of bed, but Klaus stops her with a gentle hand. He presses a chaste kiss to her lips. “I’ll come with.”

They pad into the kitchen, completely naked. Vanya fills a huge glass with water, and they share it, fingers touching as they pass the cup between each other. Klaus’ smile reaches his eyes, and Vanya can’t help but feel good--not only did they have, in her opinion, a great time together, but she also helped keep Klaus away from whatever vices undoubtedly await him on the street, at least for a little while longer. 

She convinces him to stay over (it wasn’t difficult), and after a shower that was supposed to be a quick rinse turned into Klaus fucking Vanya from behind, slow and deep, into her zillionth and zillion-and-first screaming orgasm of the night over the bathroom sink, they fall into bed, sated and exhausted. 

The next morning, Vanya awakens to nimble fingers probing at her swollen cunt, still sticky from the night before. 

“Again?” She rolls onto her back, smiling at Klaus’ endearing bedhead and smudgy eye makeup. “You’re out of control.”

“I kind of wanted breakfast in bed,” he says, unable to keep a straight face as he waggles his eyebrows. “If you’re up for it. Then, you know, we can go get something to eat for real.”

Vanya grins and spreads her thighs, heat suffusing her body as she watches her brother’s gorgeous head sink lower, until he's right where he belongs. He starts slow, with teasing, feather-light licks against her sensitive clit, building towards broader strokes until she’s undulating against the bed and rocking up into his face. 

She’s moaning his name, the delicious heat of her orgasm unspooling exquisitely in the deepest part of her, when there’s a strange noise and a sudden, loud, “Whoa!”

“Oh, my god!” Vanya yanks the sheets up over her bare tits, closing her thighs around Klaus’s head. His protests are muffled in her legs and he flails his gangly limbs as he struggles to right himself. In doing so, he flings off the sheet, exposing his and Vanya’s very naked, very mid-coitus bodies to the horrified eyes of their brother, Five.

“Oh, my fucking God, _Vanya!”_ Five looks away, a distressed hand in front of his face. “And _Klaus?_ What the fuck! Oh my--Jesus fucking Christ, I could have lived through another apocalypse without seeing that.”

“Five! What are you doing here?” Vanya pushes Klaus down beside her and pulls the covers over them both. 

“Don’t you knock?” Klaus pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

“I didn’t think I’d need to, did I!” Five looks up at the ceiling, over to the walls, blinking rapidly, like it might erase what he’d seen. “Jesus. Put on some clothes, will you?”

“We were kind of _busy,_ thank you very much,” says Klaus crossly. 

“Not anymore.” Five turns his back to them, and Vanya slips out to grab a tee shirt and sweatpants. She tosses a shirt to Klaus, who gestures to his very naked, now very flaccid prick with a look of distress. She shrugs, and tosses him the pink briefs that she’d bought in the wrong size and never gotten around to returning. He rolls his eyes but tugs them on, and Vanya gives him an appraising look and a thumbs up. Of course he looks fucking incredible in them. He pretends to brush nonexistent hair off of his shoulders and gives her a little spin, and she giggles.

“If you’re quite finished,” barks Five, producing a prosthetic eye from the folds of his blazer. “I need to tell you something that pertains to the small matter of, you know, the end of the world, so.” He throws them a disdainful look. “I’ll be in your kitchen, gouging my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon while I wait for the coffee to finish.”

**Author's Note:**

> That was such a roaring good time to write; I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed making it happen. Drop me a comment and a kudo or two if you appreciated this content. 
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr dot com](http://hannibalssweaters.tumblr.com/) for all the Klaus and TUA shenanigans, usually of the Klaus/Diego variety, and other multifandom fuckery.


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